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You know those social media posts that pop up every day asking things like, Describe your mood today with a movie title? Or a song? Or the old internet classic where you create your “adult film name” by combining your first pet with the last name of your least favorite Mets reliever and yes, mine would be Coco Looper thanks for asking. Honestly, that’s how my brain has always worked. I don’t process life in neat paragraphs. I process it in pop culture references movies, lyr

The Mets reportedly have agreed to a two-year, $40 million deal with Jorge Polanco. That’s right: two years, forty million dollars. For a guy whose primary claim to fame is well, hitting .265 with 26 homers last year and being really good at remembering how to swing a bat. Polanco, 32, will be in New York reportedly to play first base and DH. And yes, I said first base. Hold on to that thought—we’ll circle back. Let’s start with the stats. Over a 12-year MLB career, Polanco h